Hey girl hey! I hope you’re well today! I was sitting in my bed after work, snacking on my favorite junk food of all time: CHIPS. I don’t care if they are hot, plain, ruffled, kettle-style, whatever it is, I just simply love chips. For some reason, I have had this connection with chips since I was a child. My father, at one point, used to be on the road as a truck driver, and when he returned home, he always brought me chips. It gave me instant gratification. Not only was someone thinking about me, but I saw it as his love language for me. No, he didn’t bring home clothes, or shoes, or girly stuff, but food, specifically junk food for me to try, and I loved the gesture! I’m like yasss my paw loves me *in my Suge Avery’s voice* lol.
So, in order to keep the connection of love that I had for my father and he had for me, I kept consuming chips. But when I was depressed…ate chips. When I was bored…ate chips. When I didn’t feel like cooking…ate chips. I’m sure you got the point, but I realized as I was sitting in my bed, that it was doing more damage than good. Not only was I consuming so much starch in one sitting, but the emotions I had towards him, always brought myself back to chips. Harboring my emotions, and letting them out into that bag of chips, it just wasn’t healthy.
So my question is to you chick: Why do you consume junk food? Not just physical food, but spiritual junk?
Is your junk food, that person you keep returning back to that you PROMISED yourself you wouldn’t dare revisit that pain again? Is it daddy hurt that still has you in your feelings 15 years later? Or just allowing yourself to hang on to friendships that mean you no good? What is your habit that you can’t let go of that you consistently consume, knowing dog on well it does you or your body no good.
For me, it was deeper than the junk food I consumed, but the memories I had that I tried to hold on to, that God was pulling me away from to properly heal. Yes we had that one moment, but what about the other moments of sadness and anxiety that I felt when he came around? I had to get to the place of “sick and tired of being sick and tired” and simply stop myself from going back to this place of contentment and addiction. I had to stop and ask God to release me from the junk I was consuming.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love chips, but I’ve learn to consume junk in small moderation… because seriously, I am still human. But I found the beauty in ALTERNATIVES – better options for me, that fills me and gives me energy, not drain me.
So that’s the option I would like to sit in your lap sis. Instead of out of habit, going back to the junk, seek the alternative. Ask yourself those hard questions, reach out to a coach (wink wink), and unpack the junk you find yourself in a cycle with. The better you are at revealing, the better you are able to heal. That’s the best self-care you can do for yourself: looking at the junk, and finding a better solution. I don’t want you to do it alone. Know that in Be Well Chick, you have the community to support you through the junk. I mean, to be honest, I’m still working through my junk. I want to, not only to connect to you better, but to show that it’s possible and the alternative can be your norm.
Until next time,
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