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Four Ways to Mend A Broken Heart

Al Green, a popular R&B singer once asked the question, “How can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling? How can you stop the old sun from shining? He then pleads, “Help me heal my broken heart!

What is the process of healing or mending a broken heart? Some say the broken heart has stages that it must accomplish to be healed. In her blog 10 Tips to Mend a Broken Heart”, Theresa J. Borchard, declares, “Mending a broken heart is never easy. There is no quick way to stop your heart from hurting so much”. She then goes on to list the ten tips:

  1. Go through it, not around it.

  2. Detach and revel in your independence again.

  3. Lists your strengths.

  4. Allow some fantasizing.

  5. Help someone else.

  6. Laugh. And cry.

  7. Make a good and bad list.

  8. Work it out.

  9. Create a new world.

  10. Find Hope.

The process of natural healing and spiritual healing are often different. Their commonality is that it is not an easy process. It takes time and sometimes it is not complete or automatic. So, from a spiritual perspective, “How do widows receive healing for their broken hearts? As a widow of five years, I can attest to the fact that being healed of a broken heart is a process that I am still adjusting to. I have received “Tips” to help me in the process. Though the process has been long I have learned valuable lessons about the One who is doing the healing.

Four Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

1. Be certain that God’s presence is with us during our grief. Sometime ago I had an anxiety attack. My friend asked with concern, “What’s wrong? I yelled back I feel all alone! Her response was “You are not alone”. She was with me. My children were with me. My family had not forsaken me. In that moment the Lord wanted me to know that I could trust Him to be with me during this time of grief and broken heartedness.

Jesus last promise to his disciples before ascending back to the Father was…” Lo, I am with you always even unto the end of the world. Amen” (Matthew 28:20). He knew they were in doubt and fear at his leaving. He was aware of their broken hearts needing to be healed. Yet he assured them that they could trust him to be with them as they carried out his commission to reach the world with the gospel. As Widows we can also rest in the promise of the Lord that he will be with us as we carry on his will for our lives. He’s aware of our broken hearts after the death of our spouses. He’s aware of our loneliness and He says to us as he said to His disciples, “Lo, I am with you!

Four Ways to Mend a Broken heart

2. We can receive healing of our broken hearts by having confidence in God’s Power. Let’s face it, sometimes Widows feel weak and powerless. Perhaps our spouses made most of the decisions for the family. All we had to do was submit, trust and believe our husbands were making good decisions. But now we are the ones who must decide. Life goes on. Decisions must be made. Can I afford the house now? If not, where will I move? Do I need to return to work? There are times we lack confidence to take on such tasks. Our Heavenly Father is strong and powerful enough to help us meet the needs of our families. He will enable us to fulfil every task through His power and might.

Philippians 4:13, declares, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens (empowers) me.” What is it that has you feeling weak and powerless today? Know that a powerful God is there. Rest in the confidence that you can do all things through His power.

Four Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

3. Considering God’s Passionate Love for us will help us heal our broken hearts. We can trust God during grief when we consider His Passionate love for us! God has passionate love for widows. No matter what portion of the Bible we read, we will not be able to go very far in it before the subject of widowhood comes up. There are almost 80 references to widows in the Bible.

Psalms 68:5 declares, “A Father of the fatherless, a defender of the widows, is God in his habitation”.

Our husbands loved us passionately! Yet the love of our Heavenly Father is more passionate than the love of any human. We have a special place in his heart. He is a defender of widows. He loves us with an everlasting love. We are the apple of His eye! So, when we find ourselves feeling brokenhearted, let’s consider or mediate on God’s passionate love for us and the healing of our hearts will begin!

Four Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

4. Putting complete Trust in God brings spiritual healing to broken hearts. Trust is defined as having confidence in; to rely on. To trust God when one’s heart is broken is to give Him the greatest honor. When my husband passed, The Lord would often speak in a small still voice, the words, “Trust Me! He knew my heart was broken. He understood that I was disappointed at the lost of my dear Robert. He understood that I did not understand what He was doing in my life. It would be five years before I understood his will. Yet He asked me in my state of broken heartedness to trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6…. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. (KJV)

Jeremiah 49:11…Leave your fatherless children; I will keep them alive; and let your widows trust in me. (ESV)

When we give Him complete trust in exchange for our broken heart, the healing process begins immediately and continues until it is completed!

Signed your,

Lula Doss, Spiritual Renewal Coach


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