Never Lose the Spark That Makes You Shine: Overcoming Burnout & Finding Your Voice
I want to share a little of my story with you. I was once caught in a cycle of burnout. I was working for an organization that I absolutely loved. I had poured my heart into it, invested long hours, and felt a deep responsibility to help everyone—every patient, every employee. I believed I had to compensate for the lack of resources and support, and I carried the weight of it all mentally and emotionally.
This burden wasn’t just about my passion for the work. I had a people-pleasing spirit rooted in rejection, which made me feel like I needed to be everything to everybody. It wasn’t just at work; this showed up in multiple areas of my life. Relationships, ministry, and caregiving. I wasn’t speaking up for myself like I should have. I said "yes" when I wanted to say "no." I stayed silent when I needed to voice my boundaries. I was exhausted, disconnected from relationships, and mentally checked out.
The burnout came swiftly, and it was relentless. Rejections in multiple relationships, on top of everything else, only deepened the emotional toll I was carrying. Brain fog settled in, making it hard to get through day-to-day tasks. I was going through the motions—alive, but not truly living. And worst of all, I suffered in silence. I thought, if I just pushed harder, gave a little more, everything would get better. But it didn’t. The more I poured myself out without refilling, the emptier I felt.
My mom, however, could see through all the layers. She knew I wasn’t myself and sensed how much I was struggling. One day, she handed me a card. On the front of it were the words, “Never lose the spark that makes you smile.” She told me, "Never allow people or situations to take that away from you. Know when it’s time to move on."
That card stopped me in my tracks. I had been so busy trying to be everything to everyone that I had lost sight of who I was and what made me happy. My mom’s words were a reminder that I had to reclaim the spark that made me shine—that made me, me. It was a wake-up call to prioritize my well-being and learn to say no without guilt. It was life or death.
If you’ve ever been in this place—exhausted, overwhelmed, and stuck in a cycle of trying to be everything to everyone—I want to tell you something important: You don’t have to stay there.
I’m here to remind you of something I had to relearn myself: Never lose the spark that makes you shine.
I came to understand that I had to stop pouring from an empty cup. I needed to prioritize my own well-being if I was going to help others, and I needed to rediscover the passion and purpose that once lit me up from the inside. What helped me recover was not just stepping back and taking a break. I had to establish certain disciplines that allowed me to regain clarity, purpose, and balance.
Here are four disciplines that helped me reignite my spark, and they can help you too:
1. Establish Healthy Boundaries
One of the most important things I learned was the power of boundaries. I had been saying yes to everyone, constantly overextending myself, and not speaking up when I should have. I thought that if I kept giving, I could keep everyone happy, but all I was doing was depleting myself.
What I realized: Healthy boundaries are essential to protect your time, energy, and mental health. They are not selfish; they are necessary.
Boundaries allow you to:
● Say "no" without guilt
● Protect time for yourself, your family, and what matters most
● Focus on tasks that align with your purpose, instead of being pulled in too many directions
Practical step: Start by identifying the areas in your life where you feel overextended. Ask yourself, “Where am I saying yes when I should say no?” Begin practicing the art of setting boundaries by politely but firmly declining requests that do not align with your priorities. Trust that it's okay to let go of the need to please everyone, and start prioritizing your well-being.
2. Practice Self-Care Without Guilt
Self-care often gets thrown around as a buzzword, but it is an essential part of maintaining your spark. For too long, I thought self-care was selfish or indulgent, especially in a world that expects women to constantly give of themselves. But neglecting your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs only leads to burnout.
What I realized: Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and you cannot help others effectively if you’re constantly running on empty.
Self-care looks different for everyone, but it could involve:
● Taking a nap and not feeling guilty about it
● Spending time in nature to refresh your mind
● Doing something you enjoy, like reading, crafting, or exercising
● Seeking professional help when needed, such as therapy or counseling
Practical step: Choose one small act of self-care you can incorporate into your daily or weekly routine. It could be as simple as setting aside 30 minutes to read or taking a quiet walk. The key is to give yourself permission to rest and recharge without guilt, knowing that your well-being is a priority.
3. Shift Your Mindset with Daily Affirmations
For years, I was stuck in a mindset of self-doubt, fear, and insecurity. I had internalized the belief that my worth was tied to how much I could give and how many people I could please. But to reignite my spark, I had to shift my mindset.
What I realized: The mind is powerful. What you believe about yourself and your circumstances shapes your reality. To break free from burnout and people-pleasing, you must actively renew your mind with truth.
This involves:
● Using daily affirmations that remind you of who you are in Christ
● Replacing negative thoughts with positive, faith-filled declarations
● Journaling to process your emotions and gain clarity on your thoughts
Practical step: Start your day with affirmations that align with your values and purpose. For example, “I am enough just as I am,” or “I have the strength and wisdom to handle today’s challenges.” You can also use Scripture-based affirmations like, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). These affirmations will help you develop a mindset of confidence and purpose.
4. Cultivate a Lifestyle of Prayer, Meditation, and Reflection
When burnout took hold of me, I found myself disconnected from God, from my purpose, and from the things that truly mattered. One of the most transformative practices that helped me reconnect was cultivating a lifestyle of prayer, fasting, meditation, and reflection. This practice helped me refocus my heart and mind on God’s promises and regain clarity about my direction.
What I realized: Regular prayer and reflection create space for God to speak into your life. It’s through these moments of quiet connection with God that you gain the strength, wisdom, and clarity you need to move forward.
This includes:
● Spending time in prayer daily, not just in crisis but as a routine part of your day
● Meditating on Scripture to remind yourself of God’s promises
● Taking time to reflect on where you are and where God is leading you
Practical step: Dedicate a few moments each day to quiet prayer or reflection, even if it’s just 5-10 minutes. This time allows you to connect with God, center your thoughts, and gain perspective on your day. You can also journal your prayers and reflections to track your spiritual journey and growth.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and like you’ve lost the spark that once made you shine, I want you to know that you don’t have to stay there. Burnout and rejection don’t have to define you. By establishing healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, shifting your mindset, and cultivating a lifestyle of prayer and reflection, you can rediscover the passion and purpose that once lit you up from the inside.
Never lose the spark that makes you shine. Reconnect with what’s most important, and remember that your purpose, identity, and strength come from God. You were created for more than burnout. You were created to thrive.
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Let’s work together to walk you into the next season of your life—stronger, bolder, and more empowered than ever before.
Samontra Carter, Empowerment Coach
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